Laura Trujillo|Indianapolis Star
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Olivia Neely stepped inside an Indianapolis comedy club last month and was mercilessly derided by the headlining comedian she’d bought a VIP package to see.
Now Neely finds herself with a platform to raise awareness for suicide prevention.
It’s the outcome of her posting a viral video of her June 16 experience in the audience of Helium Comedy Club to see TikTok-leveraging standup Ashley Gavin.
Neely, 32, incurred Gavin’s wrath that night by cheering on the comedian mid-joke. Gavin told Neely, an Indianapolis hairstylist, that she was the most annoying audience member she’d ever had, and said Neely should commit suicide.
Neely, who as an 18-year-old overdosed on Tylenol, told the comedian she had tried.
The comedian failed to let up on her and Neely walked out of the show.
She shared the experience in a June 21 post on TikTok, sparking outrage against the comedian, particularly as it deals with a condition that disproportionately impacts LGTBQ youth. Gavin has a large LGTBQ fanbase. About 41% of LGBTQ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, according to a 2023 study on mental health by The Trevor Project.
The furor subsided, but when audio of the exchange surfaced last week, so did more ire for Gavin, who issued an apology.
About 4.7 million people have viewed Neely’s original video on the encounter.
Neely talked to IndyStar, part of the USA TODAY Network, about her humiliation, why the apology comes up short and how she’s making the best of the attention.
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Prior to the start of the show, Gavin implored the audience to not hold back on the laughter
Neely was familiar with Gavin from the comedian’s social media posts.
“I was kind of a newer fan. Going into the show I had absolutely no idea that I was walking into the lion's den. Had I known that I completely never would have stepped foot into the theater,” she said.
Before the show, Gavin had addressed the audience, imploring them to laugh, Neely said.
“She kind of aggressively gets the crowd where she kind of talked crap about her fans, and says her fans just never laugh. They always hold back. It’s like 10 minutes of screaming at us that we’d better not hold back; we'd better be loud.”
About 30 minutes into the comedian’s set came a joke about abortion.
“To be honest, I was kind of zoning out because a lot of it was really cringey and made me uncomfortable. But also there was this little bit of fear in me that I should just do what she says. And so all I hear is like her say something about abortion. And I'm a supporter of a woman's right to their body. And so I 'woo'd," she said.
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She was singled out for shaming
“In the audio, you can actually hear that I am one of many others cheering at this exact time. Then she looks at me, and tells me I'm the most annoying fan that she has ever had come to one of her shows and then basically calls me something the biggest pile of dog s*** and then continues to go tell me to kill myself,” Neely said.
“In response, I say, ‘I’ve already tried,’ she said. “I've always been very vocal and open to the public about my attempt and to be an advocate for mental health and for people who struggle with suicide. And so when I said that, I guess in my head I was thinking she's going to understand me saying that as maybe this is too sensitive of a topic for where we're going.”
Instead, the comedian tells her she didn’t try hard enough, Neely said.
“In total, she told me to go kill myself four times.”
IndyStar reached out to Gavin for comment, but she did not immediately respond.
She came expecting laughs, but left in tears
“I could feel the pit in my stomach growing heavy and I could just feel the emotion starting to hit me and that I was like, ‘Oh my god, I have to leave. I cannot be here. Also, I didn't want her to see me cry,” Neely said. “So I walked the ultimate walk of shame out in front of everyone because during all of this the entire crowd is still laughing. I've never felt that alone in such a heavily crowded room in my life. By the time I got outside, I was sobbing uncontrollably.”
Neely said the comedian continued to berate her, as well as her friend who would follow Neely out of the room, even suggesting a double suicide.
“She told my friend how we should go about doing it.”
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She found community online
Neely was a TikTok novice, but accounts with more than 1 million followers have shared her initial comedy show post, and many people have contacted her or posted about similar experiences with the comedian.
“I think now that my story has come out it's allowed so many others to come forward and say ‘she did this exact same thing to me,’ or ‘she has harassed my friends or friends that came to their show so much that they actually had to get institutionalized,’’ she said. “To me, it was just kind of crazy that we've been allowing this to go on for so long and no one spoke about this.”
Neely believes Gavin needs to do more to make amends
Gavin’s apology to her via private messaging and a general one have fallen short, said Neely, who until recently had been blocked by the comedian on social media.
“This isn’t just about me anymore. This has become a huge, huge thing,” Neely said. “I feel like she owes a major apology to her entire fanbase to every last person that sat in her audience and was told to go kill themselves.”
“I'm a very forgiving person but I want to see you actually working toward change. What are you doing to make this right to the community of people that you've hurt? I think everyone needs to see that she's done some kind of therapy or retreat, or maybe takes a step away from the public eye for a while, so she can mentally get her head straight. “
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The comedian offered a refund
Neely said she paid about $111 for two VIP tickets and a meet and greet with Gavin, who provided information on steps to get a refund.
“Honestly, it wasn't about the money. It was about the fact that your speech is dangerous,” Neely said. “She claims her shows are a safe space like a month prior. I cannot even fathom thinking that it's OK to look people in the eye and tell them over and over to go do that unimaginable thing. Like I just feel like it's disgusting.”
Neely skipped the meet and greet. “There was no way I wanted to look at that woman ever again," she said. "There was no way I was gonna go meet her.”
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She's using her growing platform for suicide prevention efforts
Before the comedy club incident, Neely had about 200 followers on TikTok. This week, she has about 14,000 followers. The original video has received more than 400,000 likes.
Just as she’s used Instagram to talk about her experiences with anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and trichotillomania – a disorder that caused her to pull her hair out at the roots – she plans to bring mental health messages to her new audience.
She’s already been recruited for suicide prevention fundraisers and programs.
“It was one of the most humiliating moments I’ve ever experienced. But at the same time, I’ve always really wanted to help people. I always joke that as a hairstylist, I’m a part-time therapist,” Neely said. “A huge reason why I spoke out was because I didn't want somebody in the future to have this told to them and to be triggered. I had no idea what had been happening prior to this and to how many people.”
“At least I am thankful that future people won't have to go through this again.”
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call theU.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988 any time day or night, orchat online.
